Desire Proverbs 2 (Selah)

As I am sitting here at my dining room table typing this morning, my heart is quite full and there are so many things that I want to share that I am feeling almost overwhelmed.  So much has happened in my own life within the past four weeks.  To be totally transparent, a piece of my world, one of the things I felt I could count on has been tested and shaken quite suddenly, and with it my confidence.  So much of what has happened has been totally out of my control which has left me feeling blindsided and quite vulnerable.  Now to be fair, this piece of my world admittedly was not the most ideal situation... but it was mine (or so I thought) and it was comfortable in that it provided a certain amount of familiarity and security.  Over the years I had settled in, come to know and love the people, and had become quite familiar with the landscape.  But in moment it all changed, and I am left with a heart that is aching with pangs of loss, and feeling more like a fish out of water these days.

So as I wait here for the Lord to give me inspiration to pass along to you concerning desire, I am also struggling with my own self doubts and fears, dealing with my own wisdom and trust issues, and questioning my own desires.  Then I open the blinds to the northwest facing bay window and behold the most beautiful view of the Blue Ridge mountains from my back yard.  The brilliant blue/green of these peaks against the backdrop of a perfectly clear pale blue sky is especially beautiful at this time of year with just a subtle hint of color at the tree line.  We have lived in this house for a little over 6 years now and and this mountain view that I fell in love with the very first time I saw this house, still takes my breath away.  And then a scripture comes to mind.... Psalm 125:1,2  "Those who trust in the Lord are as secure as Mt. Zion; they will not be defeated but will endure forever.  Just as the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forever."   Then I come to my senses as I am once again reminded about just how BIG our God is.  What a comfort it is to know that at this moment of my weakness and no matter how I feel, I can be as strong as those mountains simply by trusting in the one who is made them.  And at this moment where I feel so insecure and out of pocket, I can still belong and feel safe and secure because the strong nurturing arms of the Lord surround me on every side always and forever.  Therefore I can write about desire not because, I am worthy or have my own life together but because He is bigger than anything I face and it is his strength and not mine that I am depending on.  The plan for today was to write about desire gone bad; however, I am feeling the need just to pause for today and meditate on these things.  So for now we will take a selah and continue with desire the next time.